


beneath the frozen moon

by trash_devil



Category: BlazBlue
Genre: Crying, Eating Disorders, Homelessness, Incest, Infection, Jin being a somewhat stable individual, M/M, Nightmares, dont even talk to me about timelines, injuries, jin also being a little shit, talking bout those Feelings, terrible handwriting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-01-23 14:16:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18551461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trash_devil/pseuds/trash_devil
Summary: Being here at all was hard. But he swore to himself that morning that it was finally time to let Jin back into his life, just a little.… And he was getting tired of sleeping out on the docks.





	1. New Moon

**Author's Note:**

> yes, this entire chapter has been rewritten  
> im so tired

_One. Two. Three. Four._

Jin counted the seconds as he pleated the material of his coat between his fingers. There was a clawing feeling behind his ribcage that he refused to name.

_Murderou-_

“Nii-san, is this really all you own?” he said quickly, cutting off his own thoughts. The way his voice sliced through the air made him want to wince.

Ragna’s only response was a grunt. He took a deep breath, and began, “I’m… grateful and all for you letting me stay here.”

Jin twitched a little at the sound of his voice. 

“... But don’t tell me we have to share the same freakin’ bed or anything.”

It was a weak attempt at a joke, and if Jin understood it, he made no indication. “I wasn’t expecting guests, Nii-san. I only have one bed,” he said flatly. There was a pause as his eyes met his brother’s, then flicked away again. “Of course, one of us could take the couch.”

“I will,” Ragna blurted out before Jin had even finished the last _ch_ of _couch._ “I mean, ‘cuz, I’m like… Yeah.”

“Want to try that sentence over again?”

Ragna rubbed the back of his neck. “What I meant was… Since you were nice enough to let me stay, I probably shouldn’t take your bed too.”

“If I took you in from the street, why should I deny you a good place to sleep?”

“I dunno. I’ve got no clue what goes on in that crazy head of yours. Hell, I don’t even know what you’re gonna do now.”

Several thoughts flitted through Jin’s head at that, each worse than the last. His hands balled into fists. “Meaning?” he said. The syllables came out slowly. Frigidly.

“Gee, Jin, I dunno, it’s not like you’ve spent the past few years trying to kill and/or hump me,” Ragna said, rolling his eyes.

The temperature took a sudden nosedive.

Ragna immediately regretted mentioning it. He had nearly forgotten that despite Jin’s amazing self-control thus far, his little brother was… unstable. And clearly tipping toward a breaking point, if the cold was any indication.

“B-But I am willing to try something!” he stammered through chattering teeth.

“Try _what,_ exactly?”

He had wanted to save this confession for later, but not nearly as much as he wanted not to be frozen solid. “Try, well… Us.” The deathly chill lifted a bit. It was enough to embolden him to take Jin’s hand.

Jin stared at him. He was almost certain that this was some sort of cruel joke, but… Ragna wasn’t the type to do something like that. And his eyes were so perfectly sincere.

“Oh,” was all he managed to say.

“I’m trusting you not to kill me in my sleep, ya hear?”

“I’ll try,” he answered. His voice was quiet, but steady.

Which made it all the more surprising to Ragna when Jin was suddenly against him, face buried in his coat, his fingers curled tight into the fabric like his life depended on it. Not in tears, but definitely close to it.

Under normal circumstances, Ragna would have just pushed him away. 

These were not normal circumstances. He pulled his trembling brother closer.

Jin felt disturbingly frail in his grip. Far too thin, like someone had taken a mess of bones and tied them loosely together. Ragna’s brow furrowed with concern, but Jin was shaking too hard for him to consider voicing the thought. It could wait.

“Jin. Look at me,” he said gently, urging Jin to tilt his head upward with his hand. “Hey. Don’t cry.” He smiled a little when Jin obeyed. His hand drifted back down, but not before he ran his thumb along Jin’s bottom lip. Desire churned inside of him, strange and foreign and something he wasn’t sure he wanted to indulge. But with Jin looking up at him like that, eyes glimmering like jewels with the tears he had refused to shed…

To hell with it.

He barely registered what he was doing before his lips were against Jin’s. He heard his brother give a tiny squeak of surprise.

He moved to deepen it, but Jin was suddenly pulling away. For a split second their eyes met, then Jin was in his arms again, sobbing incoherently into his chest.

So much for not crying.

Ragna murmured nonsense noises as he rubbed soothing circles into Jin’s back. Once Jin’s shaking had calmed somewhat, he started to speak again. “I… I’m not very good with this kind of stuff- like, physical contact and shit, so you’re gonna have to be patient with me. Feelings too. Feelings are dumb.”

Jin nodded “...I’ll do my best, Nii-san.”

“Thanks, kid.” He smiled a little and pushed Jin upright. “Now, let’s run that back one more time.”

“What?”

His answer came in the form of another kiss. This time, Jin met him with the sort of devouring force he had first expected. All those years of obsession and frustration. 

He still couldn’t last long before breaking down again. This time, he wasn’t crying, but he was trembling so hard that Ragna thought he might fly apart. He wrapped his arms around his little brother, trying to hold him together.

Again, he couldn’t help but notice the way his shoulder blades and spine strained against his skin, how his ribs could be felt even through his uniform. 

He let out a slow sigh. “Jin, when’s the last time you ate?”

“I- I don’t… know…” Jin said, his voice a thin whimper.

“You don’t- Jin! No wonder you get hurt all the time!” he scolded. Jin cringed, and Ragna realized that he had scared him. “Hey, hey. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. Shh…” He continued to hold him, running his fingers through his soft blond hair. “It’s okay. Why don’t we get you something to eat? It’ll help you feel better.”

Jin’s response was muffled against Ragna’s coat, but it was still a clear, “No.”

“Why not?”

“... Not hungry.”

“Liar. You’re skin and bones.” He sighed and moved to stand up, forcing Jin to follow suit. 

Jin looked at him sullenly. “I don’t wanna.”

“Please. Do it for me?”

A pause. Jin seemed to be weighing his options. His mouth curled into a tiny frown, but he nodded once, slowly. “... Okay. For you.”


	2. Waxing Crescent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all, i recommend going back to chapter one before reading this, because things have changed up in that bitch  
> second, i know this took a longass time but i redrafted this like six times, and though its still not...perfect... its here, its finished, i did it  
> third, aaaaaaaa????  
> and fourth, maybe ill update this like once a month? writing is hard.

Jin’s kitchen was in a truly abysmal state of disuse. A thin layer of dust coated the stove and countertops; he didn’t even own a fridge. Opening the cabinets, Ragna found only packages of instant coffee.

He didn’t see any way to make it, and he was suddenly assaulted with the mental image of Jin eating straight coffee grounds. A shudder ran up his spine.

So cooking was out of the question. He stalked out of the kitchen, grabbed Jin by the arm, and dragged him out the door with the air of a man on a mission.

Five minutes later, he realized that he hadn’t thought this through. 

Ragna had never claimed to be a smart man, but he had absolutely no idea what kind of food Jin liked or would be willing to eat. He was vegetarian right? Most of Ragna’s usual haunts were more meat-based, so those were out. This was going to take longer than he thought.

God. Hopefully no one they knew would see them; Ragna didn’t know if he could deal with that; he wasn’t really ready to make this thing with Jin public. 

And Rachel did like to play stalker with him…

Great.

He tugged Jin into a random shop. He was relieved to see that the vendor was selling simple rice balls; surely Jin couldn’t find a complaint with that.

As he walked up to the counter, he felt the sudden cold press of Jin’s fingers in his hand. When he looked down, he was holding a wad of money.

“Because I actually have a job,” Jin answered his questioning gaze. Ragna nodded gratefully. Jin wandered off to find a table.

Ragna turned to address the vendor, “Two orders of rice balls, please.”

Wait. Two? He hadn't planned on getting anything here too, had he?

But a memory from childhood flashed into his head.

_“if nii-san won’t eat, I won't either!”_

Yeah. Definitely two.

The man nodded and handed him the plates. 

He took them over to where Jin was sitting. His little brother bounced up in his seat like an overexcited dog, then seemed to remember that they were in public and settled back down.

When Ragna set the plate down, he just stared at it. 

Ragna watched his conflicted expression, then sighed. “C’mon, Jin.” He leaned across the table to take Jin’s hand in his own. “Do it for me, okay?”

Jin’s eyes flicked over to their joined hands. A boyish blush crawled across his cheeks. He looked back to the food. Slowly, and with more than a little reluctance, he began to pick it apart.

Ragna had to bite back the urge to tell him to hurry up as he ate his food one grain of rice at a time. He was obviously _trying,_ and hell if Ragna was going to mess with that.

Every once in a while, Jin’s eyes would dart up to meet his, then back down to the plate.

Except when those green eyes focused on something beyond him, instead of directly at him. For a split second they widened, then narrowed into little emerald slits.

“Jin…?”

“Vampire,” he said simply.

Ragna turned his head slightly, and sure enough, there was Rachel.

“Fuck!” he yelped at the sight of her face so close to his. “You’re gonna give me a heart attack!”

She didn’t even blink at his outburst. “What an interesting path,” she said. “One riddled with doubt, and a world’s worth of conflicts…”

“Stop talking in riddles, dammit…”

Rachel fixed him with a withering stare before continuing. “... And hope.”

Jin made a dismissive noise in the back of his throat and answered the vampire with a glare of his own.

She ignored him.

“Most could not understand the complexity of this bond.” Her head tilted a little to one side, and the ghost of a smile touched her lips. “They are unable to navigate the spider’s web, beyond which lies a whole life,” she concluded. She dipped a brief curtsy, then vanished.

“The day she gives a straight answer is the day the world ends,” Jin said.

Ragna couldn’t think of a response. He was too busy staring at Jin’s plate, and the fact that he had apparently taken an actual bite while Rachel had him distracted.

“... Nii-san?”

“... You ate it.”

“Well, yeah.” His fingers twitched nervously; for a moment he appeared adorably flustered, before regaining his composure and taking another bite. Grains of rice stuck to his gloved fingers, and he focused on those instead of his brother. “Glad to know your eyes work.”

Ragna felt a pang at Jin’s return to coldness. His blush had lit him up, brought warmth to his pale skin, and Ragna wanted that back so badly that before he could think twice he was holding Jin’s hand, licking rice off his fingertips.

“N-Nii-san!?” Jin squeaked. His eyes were wide, his brain kicking into overdrive to file away every little detail of the moment. Every strand of hair, every taste bud, every twitch of muscle in Ragna’s face… 

“Thought I’d help you out,” Ragna grumbled. He looked at Jin, who was blushing more than he thought possible _(seriously, there couldn’t be that much warmth in his body, could there?)_ and wondered if he had overdone it. He pulled back quickly. “... Sorry. I didn’t-”

A whine cut him off, “Nii-san shouldn’t do things like that. You make it hard not to kiss you.”

“Uh, please, can we keep PDA to a minimum?” he asked. He was recoiling in his seat a little.

Jin’s expression softened. “I told you I’d be patient, didn’t I?” He flicked Ragna’s forehead. “... We can go now, if you want.”

Ragna nodded and began to silently pack up their leftovers. He caught Jin’s forlorn face as they walked out the door, and he offered his hand. His younger brother took it, immediately brightening.

He almost wished he had fallen for his pretty little brother sooner.. When was the last time he had seen him smile like that?

They got a few odd looks from passerby as they wandered through the streets, but that was mostly due to Jin’s NOL uniform. It wasn’t like people didn’t know who he was. Ragna was a little more anonymous, although no doubt there were one or two dedicated vigilantes that could recognize him, no matter how bad his wanted poster was.

However, none were dedicated enough to try to snatch him from a Major.

 

Without realizing it, Ragna had been walking them both toward the docks. He had spent many a night here before Jin took him in. It was quiet. Peaceful. He led Jin to small steel platform that jutted out from a hollow in the wall. He lay down with his arms behind his head as Jin knelt nearby, watching the sunset.

Jin watched the sun sink into the water, and felt an involuntary stab of fear. 

It was dumb. A childish fear, like the moon falling, the sun disappearing forever, drowned beneath the waves… Even knowing how stupid such a thought was didn’t prevent it from scaring him.

Ragna noticed the way he tensed, but not the reason why. “... C’mon, kid, get comfortable,” he said after a moment, smacking the platform beside where he lay.

“I am comfortable,” Jin retorted. He let out a slow breath, his body relaxing, and bent over to press a quick kiss to Ragna’s cheek. 

His older brother made a growling noise and swatted lazily at him. “Quit buggin’ me.”

“‘Bugging’ you would imply that I’m preventing you from doing something. You are not even attempting to do anything, ergo, I am not ‘bugging’ you,” he said, drawing air quotes around the word.

“Oh, aren’t you fuckin’ confident,” Ragna answered in mocking tones. “What else can you do, huh?”

Jin got a distant look in his eye, clearly thinking. He seemed to decide on something after a minute and cracked his fingers, his hands hovering above Ragna’s face. “... This,” he said, and clapped them together to send down a shower of snow.

“Gah!” He sat up, shaking his head. “Jin! Fuck!”

His little brother smiled at him innocently. “Not what you had in mind?”

“Punk.”

Jin giggled and flicked another snowflake at him.

 

\------------------------------

 

Ragna settled on the couch with a yawn. Going out with Jin like that was tiring. 

Jin sat down next to him, a sheaf of papers in hand. He thumbed through them quickly and sighed. He didn’t have nearly this much paperwork when he was a captain, he thought, and dropped the stack. It hit the table with a thunk.

Ragna gave him an odd look. “... You should do those. They look important.”

Jin rolled his eyes, “You sound like Tsubaki,” but he knew his brother was right. He picked them up with another sigh and produced a pen from somewhere in his coat. 

As he scribbled away, Ragna couldn’t help but notice that his handwriting was atrocious. “... Are you using the wrong hand?”

“No.”

“... Do you want me to do it for you? Your writing is seriously terrible.”

“You can stay in my home, Nii-san, but I’m not letting you look at classified documents.”

“Oh. Right. I’m a wanted criminal, huh?”

Jin paused. “... I won’t let them have you.”

Ragna nodded absently.

“I can do this in my room if you want to sleep.”

“Nah, kid, I was thinking of gettin’ outta your hair myself,” he said. He wandered off to the bedroom, figuring that Jin wouldn’t mind.

A voice called after him, “Sweet dreams, Nii-san.”


	3. First Quarter

Despite Jin’s parting words, Ragna’s sleep was not peaceful.

No. It was a burning sensation, a horrid heat. The quiet crackle that reached his ears confirmed his worst fears.

Fire.

He closed his eyes to the nightmare and begged for it to end.

It didn’t. The pain was as fresh in his mind as the day it happened oh-so-very long ago. The agony as his arm was severed from his body. The ice-cold feeling against the bleeding stump, the unbearable heat over the rest of him.

Young Jin, Nightmare Jin laughed

Ragna whimpered.

 

The Jin of the waking world heard the noise, and practically kicked down the bedroom door. He held Yukianesa in a white-knuckled grip, murder in his eyes for anyone who would dare hurt his brother.

A moment later, he realized that he was the only one in the room and relaxed from his battle stance.

He tensed again as Ragna’s whimpers escalated to pleas for mercy. Written across his face was fear and helplessness and pain. An expression that, in fact, was a perfect match to one already filed away in his memories.

An uncomfortable wave of guilt washed over him. He couldn’t leave him like this. 

Jin took his brother’s shoulder and shook him gently. “Nii-san,” he whispered, but that only seemed to distress the man further.

_Please, Jin…! Stop! Stop!_

Desperate times. He peeled his gloves from his frostburned fingers and pressed his hands to either side of Ragna’s face.

Ragna’s eyes snapped open, shocked awake by the cold. He shoved Jin as hard as he could. A scream was building in his throat.

Jin slammed into the wall. A jolt of pain ran through his shoulder, but he’d deal with that later. Right now, his brother was staring at him like he was his worst fear come to life.

… That probably wasn’t far from the truth.

Yukianesa’s voice rose to fever-pitch in his head and ice spread from his fingers unbidden. 

_No no no no n- **Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill.** _ Her endless creed. The very last thing he needed right now. With every ounce of willpower he had, he forced down her voice and dissipated the ice.

Ragna flinched as it shattered. He curled up with his knees tucked to his chest - a position for someone much younger, much more vulnerable - and shook with more than just the cold. 

Jin read pure terror in every line of his body, and that hurt far more than his shoulder. “Nii-san, please,” he said in a tone he hoped was soothing. “I won’t hurt you. I promise.”

Something flickered across Ragna’s expression. Those words, at least, seemed to have reached him. He closed his eyes and sighed out, “Goddammit,” as he collapsed back onto the bed.

Under normal circumstances, Jin would have left the room.

Unfortunately, he was too busy trying to staunch the flow of blood that was now soaking through his bodysuit. Fuck. Ragna was strong, and jarring against the wall that hard had torn open old, poorly healed wounds. He sucked in a pained breath through his teeth.

“Jin!?”

Through the spots dancing across his vision, he noticed Ragna looking at him with a very different sort of fear.

“What the fuck!?”

Hands. Strong and warm, coaxing the blood-sticky fabric away from his skin. A choking gasp at the sight of it, the jagged clawmark scored from shoulder to hip. Scabby-edged _(a strange comfort in the renewed pain as he picked at those wounds)_ and greenish with infection _(why would he let it heal properly? why get rid of anything his dear brother gave him?),_ it was not a pretty sight. 

“Bandages,” he choked out around the delirious giggles starting to clog his throat. “Bottom drawer.”

More shuffling. Pressure, winding around his injury. Smoothing out the gauze.

“I’m taking you to Miss Litchi’s.” 

A coat draped around his shoulders.

_Smells like Nii-san…_

He blinked through the maddening fog clouding his head as he felt himself being lifted. 

_why did you stop me why didn’t you finish it why do you refuse you were born to kill kill kill kill kill-_

“Stay with me Jin.”

“Mmph.” He wrapped his arms around his brother’s neck, and Yukianesa’s voice faded to background noise.

 

Rain poured down from the sky.

Ragna glared up at the clouds like he could scare them off. The clouds were unimpressed and stayed firmly in place.

He was about to try and risk the downpour when he heard the _tok tok tok_ of geta and the soft patter of rain against an umbrella.

Amane Nishiki slowed to a halt in front of them.

“My, what a rare display of brotherly affection,” he drawled. A faint smile tugged at his painted lips.

“Shut it, perv,” Ragna growled back.

A laugh, hidden behind one hand. “I don’t believe I suggested anything untoward. Unless you boys want to tell me something?”

“Piss off.”

“You’re really going to just walk away and get all wet?” His gaze flicked up to the sky, which showed no sign of clearing. “It’s not good to get wounds soaked. They pull apart, and all sorts of other nasty stuff.”

“You have a better idea?”

“I have an umbrella.” He held it out for Ragna to walk under. “Where are you headed?”

“Orient Town. Clinic,” Ragna grumbled. “Why are you helping?”

Amane’s mouth turned into a delicate little pout. “Can’t I just do a good deed? And hope that your pretty little brother will remember next time I’m a dance member short?”

He rolled his eyes, “Of course that’s what you’re after.”

“Complain, and you can say goodbye to me and my umbrella.”

Ragna shut his mouth.

 

Amane left them under the clinic awning. Ragna gave him a muttered, “Thank you,” before he went off on his way.

Not two seconds later, he was almost knocked back into the rain as almost a hundred pounds of cat slammed into his back.

“Good Guy, Good Guy!!” Taokaka screeched as she clambered on him like he was some sort of tree. Loud purring filled his ear. “Tao hasn’t seen Good Guy in a looooong time!”

“We need to see Litchi-”

“Booby Lady isn’t here, only Tao! To keep watch!” She slid off of him and saluted when he turned to face her. Her glee turned into a hiss when she saw who he was carrying. “Tao doesn’t like Shivers!”

“This isn’t about whether or not you like him, Tao, he needs help!”

Her ears lowered at the volume of his voice. “Tao doesn’t care.”

“Tao, please.”

“Pretty please? With meat buns on top?”

Ragna sighed, “With meat buns on top.”

“Okay!!” Taokaka’s face split in her usual grin, and she let them in with good spirits apparently recovered.

A pile of kittens was fast asleep on the bed. 

A mostly-lucid Jin stirred in his arms to twist around and stare at the shelves of plants and medicines. The last time he was here was… when he was digging through trashcans in search of Ragna. He decided to ignore that memory.

“Lot of shit in here, huh?” Ragna commented, following his gaze.

Jin’s eyes narrowed. The NOL had classes in traditional remedies, but it was just a bunch of leaves to him. “This is probably as good a time as any to admit I cheated on all the herbology tests.”

Ragna snorted. “Too bad this is the only time you’d need it. Guess we’ll have to wait for her to get back.”

“You didn’t have to take me here.”

“Are you kidding? I thought you were gonna die.”

“I’m fine now,” Jin pointed out.

And yeah, he did kind of have a point. He seemed to be doing alright now that the wound had been bandaged, but-

Ragna couldn’t shake that hazy look Jin had given him at first, nor the sight of such a grisly injury. No way was he letting that go untreated.

“Whatever, I still want it taken care of,” he muttered as he set Jin in a chair. 

Taokaka chose that moment to burst into the room and wake all the kittens. They wasted no time in crawling over both brothers, squeaking, “Play time! Play time!” One, less energetic than its siblings, tumbled into Jin’s lap and started purring. Its purring increased in volume as Jin ran a finger across its head.

Ragna was surprised at how gentle he was with it. After seeing the way he treated Jubei, he had thought his brother wasn’t much of a cat person.

Even more unexpected was when Jin turned to him, eyes filled with not madness or hate, but contentment. 

“Nii-san?”

“Yeah, Jin?”

The words tumbled softly from his lips, “I love you.”

A strangled wheeze came out of his throat. Okay. Definitely hadn’t been expecting that. He felt a blush crawling up his cheeks, and his heart beat out an achingly fast rhythm in his chest.

He was saved from his embarrassment when the bell on the door rang out again and Litchi entered, her arms full of a basket of buns and herbs. Tao happily tucked into the food the moment she set it down.

She readjusted her glasses and smiled. “Hello, Ragna. I hope Tao didn’t give you too much trouble.”

“She was the same as always.” 

They shared in a brief moment of affectionate exasperation toward the kaka before he continued.

“I need you to take a look at my brother.”

“Alright. Major?”

“It’s not that bad,” Jin muttered as he started to shrug off the coat.

“Just as stubborn as ever,” she said with a short laugh. 

She pulled away the bandages, and her smile turned to a frown as she saw the wound beneath. “Jin. You said you would take care of this.”

“Don’t chastise me, woman.”

“Don’t talk back to me; these are from nearly a year ago!”

“What!?” Ragna snapped. He rounded on his brother. “Jin, _what the hell?”_

Jin refused to answer or make eye contact while Litchi busied herself with cleaning the wound and spreading salve over it.

“Please actually take care of it this time,” she sighed as she finished.

The comment earned her a scowl from Jin, but Ragna growled, “Oh, I’ll make sure he does.”

“I’ll send you off with some antibiotics for the Major,” Litchi interjected. Ragna nodded gratefully, and she disappeared into another room to gather the supplies.

Jin put Ragna’s coat back on, taking a moment to relish in its warmth and scent before turning to face its owner with his arms raised. “Carry me, Nii-san.”

“Brat. You’re in trouble, you know,” he grumbled even as he scooped his little brother up.

“Ooo, how scary.”

 

By the time they left with the medicine, it had stopped raining. It was an easy walk back with how light Jin was in his arms.

Ragna hoped that if - gods forbid - there was a next time, it would be less easy, because Jin definitely needed to gain weight.

“You should rest,” he mumbled once they were back home.

“... Nii-san,” and _oh,_ he could practically hear the eyeroll that went with that, “I have barely an hour before I’m supposed to be at work.”

“You’re not working like that.”

“I’ve worked through worse.”

“‘Cuz you’re a dumbass with no sense of self-preservation. As your older brother, I forbid it.” He felt Jin slacken in his arms and counted that as an argument won. 

He lay Jin down on the bed and went to set the medicine on the living room table.

When he returned, Jin had curled up on his side like a wild animal trying to protect its vitals. Ragna’s heart hurt a little at the sight. He placed on hand on his brother’s side.

Jin flinched at even the light contact, his body going rigid. He stayed there, unmoving, breath caught in his throat. 

“... It’s me,” he said quietly, and felt his brother’s body relax at the words. “... I love you too.”

 

An hour later, someone came knocking for the absent Major.

Ragna had dozed off a bit himself, and threw open the door to blink bleary-eyed at Hibiki’s slight form in the hallway.

“Is Major Kisaragi home?”

“Uhm… Yeah. He’s sick,” he mumbled, still groggy.

“It’s good to know he’s staying in to rest then,” Hibiki said politely.

The next moment, Ragna was shocked into alertness when there was suddenly no one in the hallway and Hibiki’s voice rang out from somewhere behind him, “Forgive me if I don’t take you at your word, though, Sir Reaper.”

“H-Hey!” he exclaimed as he whipped around just in time to see Hibiki flicker, vanish, then reappear so quickly it was uncertain he moved at all. “How did you-”

Hibiki dipped a brief bow. “It seems I had no need to worry. Lord Kagura will be pleased; he’s always trying to get Major Kisaragi to take a break.” He slipped past Ragna into the hall with one last comment: “Take care when you wake him.”

“The hell’s that supposed to mean?” Ragna asked before he realized that he was addressing empty air. Hibiki was gone.

Slippery bastard. Ragna slammed the door shut.

He decided against returning to the bedroom, instead settling himself on the couch like originally planned to resume his interrupted nap.

 

A few hours later, he woke up for real when a beam of sunlight snuck past the curtains to fall across his face.

The clock read nearly noon.

He got up and stretched. His body was also telling him it was lunchtime. He didn’t have any cash, though, so he’d have to ask Jin-

Jin.

A brief jolt of panic went through him - _what if he snuck past me and went to work and isn’t letting himself heal_ \- but his fears were allayed with a quick peek into the bedroom.

Even so, the bed was a mess. The sheets were tossed carelessly about, tangled up with torn bandages. Dried blood under Jin’s fingernails.

Well, fuck. It didn’t seem like there was too much damage done, but it didn’t seem like there had been much rest happening either. He crept further into the room.

The tiniest creak of a floorboard, and Jin shot up in bed. His gaze was unfocused, but he apparently didn’t need to be fully awake to freeze Ragna’s boots to the floor.

“Whoah, kid, it’s just me,” he said, trying to keep his voice calm. Was this was Hibiki was talking about? “It’s Ragna.”

“Nii...san?” 

To his relief, the clarity was beginning to return to Jin’s eyes. The ice on the floor cracked, and he shook the remaining shards off his shoes. “Yeah. Just me, so no need to start the next ice age.”

“... Oh.” Jin rubbed at one eye with the heel of his hand. The circles beneath looked somehow _worse_ than they had before he slept. “I thought… Nevermind. Did you need something?”

Ragna frowned. Jin looked exhausted. He approached the bed slowly, his arms held out for an embrace.

Jin tumbled against him as soon as he was in range. His hands kept moving over Ragna’s body like he was trying to confirm he was real.

“Jin. Look at me.”

His head tilted back obediently.

Ragna ran a thumb over his cheek. Residual fear showed in the stiffness of Jin’s posture, the waver of his mouth.

What kind of nightmares haunted his sleep? What sort of things had Ragna failed to protect him from?

If only he could take it all away. If only…

He bent down to meet Jin’s ice-cold lips. “I want to help you the way you’ve always wanted,” he murmured against his mouth.

“... The way I’ve always wanted?”

“From me. My attention. My help.”

“You promise?”

“I promise,” he said, holding his pinky finger out.

Jin linked their fingers together and nodded solemnly.

Then all the harder lines of stress melted out of his face as he broke into the biggest, stupidest grin and tacked Ragna to the mattress in a rain of kisses.

He had never seen Jin so happy. It was all he could do to try and match his enthusiasm, to catch each kiss and laugh while his little brother showered him with affection.

Once Jin managed to calm down a little, he rolled off of Ragna to tuck himself against his side instead.

Ragna draped an arm over his bony hip and whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he murmured as he pressed one last kiss to the underside of Ragna’s jaw.

“I know, kid, I know.”

He smiled at those words and closed his eyes.

 

For the first time he could remember, Jin slept deeply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly didn't expect to finish this this month lol
> 
> next chapter will probably take a while because 1. i've been sucked back into fire emblem and 2. smut is not my strong suit
> 
> yeah. emotional fucking? its whats for dinner
> 
> who knows, though, nyall might get lucky and i'll finish writing earlier. dont get your hopes up though.


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